Minimalist décor the only answer. Forget hanging pictures on your walls. At least one of them, or even a mere detail, is sure to offend someone.

And you never know who or when. They will suddenly take offence, plead harm is being done, or demand reparations for some long ago act or words.

Hardly a day goes by without reports of supposedly damaged persons demanding – they rarely politely ask – immediate action to salve their injured souls.

And so a portrait of the Queen has been taken off the walls of the middle common room at Oxford’s Magdalen College. A committee of students demanded its removal because it represented “an unwelcoming symbol of recent colonial history”.

Hmmm.

The decision followed a vote called in the interest of domestic and international students “who might object to the imagery”. Note that word might. No mention of an actual case of being offended or mentally damaged.

And note, too, that the vote was 10 in favour, two against and five abstentions.

It will be ravaged the consumed by wildfires. These will be caused by the extreme heat coming our way; temperatures of 30deg will be common.

Odd thing is that not a twig or leaf is harmed in Oz when such “heatwave” conditions occur. It takes 40deg or more to set off the bush fire alerts.

Next night, staying true to its hellfire and brimstone theme, Auntie reported the massive scorched earth threat to the landscape and wildlife is actually caused by the growing use of portable barbecues. Another relatively new phenomenon in an unthinking and uncaring public’s hands.

At least they can be banned from sale; you can’t do that with climate change.  Plus penalise the idiots who abandon them.

The scaremongering BBC then claims life (or at least train travel) will come to a standstill under climate change. Tracks will buckle in the “heatwaves” looming over us.

Yet in the annually scorched Oz outback, trains continue trundling along in 40+ deg heat unslowed by bent rails. Only the passengers tend to wilt on these massively long-haul journeys.

Confusing.

Whatever the truth (something only that  quirky and cranky Californian couple claim to utter), it all comes down to people. You, me, us, them, everyone; no one is exempt or excused.

Meanwhile, the ponderous, portentous voice of David Attenborough informs us “summer brings warmer temperatures”. Really? Who would have thunk that?

To which he adds that jack jumper ants are one of the deadliest creatures in Australia and can kill humans. No doubt the crocs, alligators and sharks will be mightily impressed to hear that.