As I was saying before … Before what? Before when? Why did I come into the kitchen? What am I doing here? Well, as I was saying … What was I saying? Something about … er … Hell, let’s start again. There’s this problem I’m having with memory. I hear mention of such terms as
Thinking about this resolution thingy. The reality is it depends on others. No point in giving up the drink unless your booze-buddies do likewise, or you’ll have little support. Same with the fags. And the diet. And the “join a gym” promise to oneself. Resolutions need to be a mass initiative to be of any…
Excitement! There’s a package awaiting me in the mailroom. What can it be? Such a substantial object yet so light. Couldn’t recall any online orders of recent date and of such a size. Then memory clicks in; there was a purchase of a small item a couple of days back. From Amazon – where else?…
It seems I was right on the money when, a few weeks ago, I adversely commented on the work of the theatre world’s would-be wunderkind, Emma Rice. Since then there has been a steady flow of mostly adverse comments about the work of La Rice, especially her treatment of one of the stagings of A…
What is happening to parental responsibility? Indeed, what is happening to taking responsibility for one’s own actions? A mother found her 19-month-old daughter ripping open a packet of Ibuprofen tablets while they were waiting in a queue in a branch of WH Smith. Does she upbraid the child – teach her that such behaviour is not…
Seven weeks ago I walked into my local Barclays Bank with a query about my account. Simple? A customer services officer (first barrier) said I would have to wait to speak to one of her colleagues (second barrier) to make an appointment to discuss my query. Couldn’t she do this? Well, she could but someone…
It seems that the long-standing two-letter preposition at has been dismissed as irrelevant by these two superstars and thousands of lesser lights throughout the English-speaking world. No longer does Beyoncé play at the Rose Bowl; she merely plays the Rose Bowl, a phrase that suggests an uneven contest in the extreme. Similarly Maestro Pavarotti has ceased to…
Let’s have three cheers and a quick spin of the Zimmer frame for Ms Justice Simler. The High Court judge has decreed that age alone is not a reason to remove a person’s driving licence. It is a decision for that rare quality known as commonsense. There has never been any understandable logic behind the…
Could this be the light at the end of the tunnel? Is this the turn-off on a long and winding road? Maybe it is one of those blips that tend to rattle forecasters before the status quo returns … but the news from the ubiquitous UK bookshop chain, Waterstones, is that sales of Amazon’s Kindle device…
A disclaimer: I was not the anonymous author of a submission to Sunday Telegraph agony aunt Graham Norton seeking the answer, other than hibernation, to coping with Christmas. But I might well have been. Every word of “Anon” rang clear. He/she admitted actively loathing this time of year in every way – “the food, the…